2011 thus far

This would be my first post of 2011. It's been a long time since I last posted, and being completely honest I had almost completely forgotten about posting, but today I felt the dire need to post something. In actual fact, I felt the dire need yesterday, however I tried to do it via my phone but it wouldn't let me post. So here I am starting all over again.

Basically, longterm relationships are kind of my thing. I seem to hold on even when I shouldn't (not saying that I shouldn't be now). I stay with relationships past their expiry date, and I can see that is exaqctly what I did with my relationship previous to current. This is a typical thing for my type of person, I like security, I like stability and I like knowing where I stand. Long tewrm relationships offer me all of the above, but perhaps this dependant nature is what causes so many problems for me. I actually don't actually remember a stage of my life where I have been "single and free to mingle". I'm not that type and never have been. I have periods when I've been single, but I am not the mingling type. I am friendly, I am easy going and easy to talk to, but I am not easy. So in saying all of this I understand my current boyfriends need to escape sometimes. He does his best, and I know this, but sometimes the way in which he choses to escape, I deem inappropriate. Honestly, I think I put up with a lot that most girls would walk away from (I know this because I have hypothetically asked random girls I have met), and I think that I am, for the most part, a good girlfriend. I know that I am pushy, but that is in my nature because I am constantly striving to push myself and the people around me to do their best, atleast that's what I used to do. As of late I have been somewhat neglecting my role of pushing and have neglected my need to better myself. I promise to begin doing so, as of now.

I am current;y studying Law and Commerce at Auckland. This is something that I never doubted I would enjoy, until I realised how much I was really taking on, on top of being a typical teenager. I have a materialistic quality to me, I cannot live without money, as anyone reading this could understand being that you are probably of an middle-upper class of socio economic grouping, and you have internet. That, and I don't know anyone that is in huge need of financial assistance, and if I did, I would do my best to help, but said person still would not be reading my blog. In all honesty when I was living in the city I was tempted to pick up a homeless woman and take her to my apartment so she could shower and give her some clean clothes. It bothers me that there are these people in society. What kind of person can they have been, to have been completely left by their family and friends, to have been desserted by all those who should have been caring for them, especially in New Zealand. There are so many financial aids and benefits its ridiculous, and yet just down the road from the WINZ office on Queen Street, there are people begging for help, and people begging for money. Sorry, sidetracked. Continuing with previous rant, I cannot live without money. I like eating in nice places (though I'm sure I could remove this from my current living situation if need be), I like being able to wear clothes that I like, and that I know other people will like (especially my boyfriend). I am the type of girl who would rather save for a week and buy a pair of nice shoes than to go and buy a few cheap pairs from the Warehouse. I understand that in some people's views this makes my complaint about having no money to be trivial however, it still stands. I need money, and at the present moment this is something I lack, and is a problem I am in an attempt to solve.

I am at the moment back to living with my mother. For all intensive purposes, this is fine, except that she has adopted three new children under the age of 13 due to a new relationship. I love the kids, and I love her new man, I think they are all wonderful. However living under the same roof as 5 other children, and two parents, is much of a change from anything I have ever been used to, never mind that previous to this I was living in my own apartment, in which I had one person come and stay, my boyfriend. It is a big change, and I don't deal well with crowded places, especially when I'm in an attempt to study, or trying to hold an educated conversation. Therefore I spend as much time as I can away from here. Which is a problem, because I don't study as much as I should and I am disorganised. I have two kittens here with me, which she has threatened to put down (understandably so, they are little ratbags). And so, in turn, I am looking for a new place, my own place, and with a garage to keep the boyfriend happy. With how the market is currently however, it is a struggle to find anything.

Basically. I just wanted to complain about a whole heap of trivial shit, just like every other teenager. None of the real problems actually come out in a blog though do they?