It's 'mind' over 'matter'

It's mind over matter...
I don't mind, and you don't matter...

"Mentally Divergent"

There are many things I don't understand...
For example, why Brad Pitt in '12 Monkeys' isn't far more widely known for his brilliant acting.

There are many lessons I've learnt...
For example, you can't chose your family, but you can chose your friends.
Therefore, trust those who don't have the choice, not those that do...

There are many things I've seen...
For example, flies have sex on my plate.

Change it up. Just for the sake of it.

Live it up, bcoz you have the chance.

Wait for it, bcoz it's worth it.

Move on, bcoz it's not.

Controversial thought isn't worth the time.

Feelings always matter.

More than anything, love who you do, and don't who you can't. But let it be your decision, and yours only.

Be mature, more than those who downgrade you.

Be content, more than those who need to find highs.

Be yourself. Through everything. You're the only one who has to face the consequences.

I will remember you...

Funny, How it falls apart

Being completely honest with myself, there's nothing that I wanted more.

I realised a little while how pathetic it is, sitting doing nothing. Working myself to the point where I can't stand. But it's because I couldn't think. Because I knew it would all fall apart.
Not in the childish "this is the end of my life", but in a way that I'm not going to be the same because of the things that have happened you know?

Funny that I'm finally talking about myself, rather than someone else. I'm just glad I've finally got to the point where I can be happy for someone else being happy, not matter what it feels like.

Superman ain't savin' shit.

This isn't something anyone can fix.
It hurts. But I'll be okay.

I love you. Too much I guess.
I wish I had someone to talk to like I had you.
I miss you.
Very much

Back up. Start again. Holy Fuck.

I can't believe it's all falling back again...
It's all coming back again...
It's all back tracking.
FUCK

Don't let me fall.
Please not yet.
I'm not ready to fall again.
It hurts too bad.
I miss things too much.
FUCK

I'm hurting, a lot..
I'm stronger than before..
I guess...
But, I'm not ready to start fresh...
I'll get better though..
I hope..
FUCK

Cassie:
You've been amazing
Shoes up :D

I love you kids lots:
Becki... Bex... Cassie... Claytz... Ebz... Raro...

Too big, too bold. Too afraid.

You have no idea how much people like you piss me off. You have no idea how much I wish I could go back in time and save other people the hassle to going through what they're going through. I'm sick of trying to defend people and failing, especially people who are my family. You have no idea how pissed off I am at the fact you can't take on someone your own fucking size, and I hate the fact that you're so young and pathetic that I can't say shit to you. Maybe it's not your fault, maybe it was your upbringing, maybe it'sjust the way you are. Maybe you can't help it. But fuck, I think you should just fuck off.

I'm sick of the bull shit that goes on around here, I'm sick of seeing young girls turn into plastics and cake faces. I'm sick of not being able to trust my friends, not to stick by me, but to tell the truth. I'm sick of the shit that happens all the time when people don't just fuck off and stay within their own FUCKING business, and I'm sick of people involving me in theirs.
I've defended a few people who don't really deserve it, and I've held up my end to promises with nothing in return. I don't much care about the things they say about me when I have the close friends that I do. But I'm sick of having false impressions of people, and people attempting to cloud my opinions of them.

Yes I can be a bitch, and manipulative. But I know that to my friends, I'm a better friend than you will ever be to yours, because all you do is bitch and moan and I'm sick of it.
You don't deserve my friendship,. no matter how much a treasure you.

You know, I've tried hard the last little while, to fix things. But there are always problems. Like people who can't just fuck off and shut up.
If you hear something from me, then make sure you get the right fucking story, because I'm sick of getting two sides thrown back at me. Both of which are wrong

Thank you to those people who have the guts and the caring nature to ask before the judge the situation. For those who do, stay the fuck away from me, and stop faking it. You're bitches, face up to it, atleast then you can have other bitch friends.

Thank you Bex.

Ali and Mitch's System of Life

Reality
Existance: Nothing would exist, therefore it is complete reality
Chaos: With complete chaos, come form of equality would form it's own rules
Perfection: Everyone is perfect
Hunger: Food is needed
Reproduction: Needed to keep the population continuing
Instincts: No thought process or feelings involved
Sense: No thought process
Moments of maturity: Developing maturity over time, different perceptions
Mechanics: Laws of physics; development; continuation
Hitler's theory: Eventual Equality, solve worlds problems, hunger, overpopulation
Romeo and Juliet's theory: Individualsim; aspires to eb themselves
Ali and Mitch
Crazy Lady

Borderline
Control: Someone else (Insanity), Something else (Reality)
Inspiration: Part feeling, part Impulse
Music: Feelings towards perference, but alos impulse to what suits you best
Ideas portrayed by Fiction
Christianity: Part feeling, part theory
Evolution: Part feeling, part proven theory
Coincidence and Change: Reality is somethings are chance,, but it is a feeling towards fate
Normal People
Philosophers

Insanity
Feelings: No need, completely insane
Actions: Thoughtful, involved
Fetish: A feeling or want towards something
Racism: An uninvolved, and unparralled feeling
Sex: Not a need, more something we've become accustomed to
Obsession: A complete craving for something
Romeo and Juliet's Family theory: Discipline, Control over someone else, and thoughtless cruelty
Taste: A preference
Characters: Fictional, no background, no reality
Love and Hate: Relationshipd, not needed
Perceptions of Perfection: How each person perceives a form of perfection
Superiority: Wanting, craving, taking control
Anarchy: Complete misunderstanding of Chaos
Generes of Maturity: Different perceptions of different types of maturity
Hitler
Grand Theft Auto Guy
Boy who steals food

If only I was invisible

There are some points where I wish I could be invisible, for hundreds of different reasons.
To see what's really going on in people's conversations about me
To understand why people do what they do
So I can throw something and they'd never know it was me

If I was invisible it'd make things a fuck load easier for a lot of people, a lot less stress and tension and certain people. But basically I'm sick of the petty drama, everyone has something serious to stress about at some points, but I think people are so overdramatic, and so fabulous at jumping to conclusions, and believing rumours, that it's really causing some problems. I'm sick of being the one to try and take the heat off a situation. Sometimes I feel like pouring gasoline on the fire and watching it burn, but I've never really done that. I've only ever been that angry at someone when it's been the person I love the most. Just like everyone, I think we treat the people we love, the best, and the worst. Bcoz we trust that they understand that we have no other way to deal with it.

I'm having a few major trust issues right now, bcoz the people I trust the most, seem to talk and spread things that don't make me feel like I should trust them at all. In their defense they are trying to protect me, but seriously, I'd prefer nothing be said at all. I'd prefer I wasn't the topic of conversation, and I'd prefer to be left to live my own life in my own way, if you see me fucking up, maybe take my hand and guide me somewhere better, but if it's just that you feel like getting in the way then fuck off and let my real friends be there for me. Don't fake friendships to make you look or feel better. I think that's poor a pathetic. I'm proud of myself in saying that, the people I'm friends with, I ladore for who they are, not what group they come from..

Thanks for being the only thing to keep my feet firmly on the groud.
You're pretty much the fabulous thing.

Shit happens

Only a few of you know what I'm talking about, and I guess you should know that means I trust you with the secrets of my life.
For everyone else, there are rumours that come and go, but only decent people will stop to ask what really happened, so thanks to those.

I'm scared, of what happens next, I'm scared of what I'm going to do.
I think I'm mostly scared of telling Mum.
This is my decision, and my decision only.
This is my drama, and my story.
And I hope everyone respects that and leaves me to my own little world.

I'm sorry for the mistakes I made, but there's nothing I can regret.
Bcoz, with regrets come sorrow, and now is not the time for me to feel sorrow for the past.

You are all perfect in your own little way, and I hope that everyone one day finds their own contentment.

Everything's fine.. Just fine..

How much should I miss this?

You know, there are many things I miss...
I miss being around my best friend in Primary, and dancing in the garage in our PJs.
I miss being the interesting, and unreadable girl that could get through anything alone.
I miss my family the way it was when we were all happy and got along.
But nothing stays that way, bcoz we need the challenges.
Supposing it;s time that I learnt that there's nothing I can change about the past, and all I can do is make the present the best I can.
Therefore, I won't forget anything, bcoz there are all different parts of my life that I loved... I will just, push further past the not so great things.

Once again, thanks to those who have supported me.

Just so you know, you were important, and, I miss your friendship x